She's The Man
by The Queen Of Mischief
Summary: Lily dressesup as a guy when the MOM makes a law that girls can't play Quidditch.Along the way she makes frieds with James Potter.but it's getting harder and harder being a girl and a boy.Especially when superhot James knows both Lilygirl and Lilyboy.
1. shocking news for Lily

**She's the Man**

As a child, Lily Evans had always loved Quidditch. Above her crib had hung miniature broomsticks, her bed sheets were embroidered with broomsticks, her wallpaper had little –you've guessed it! - broomsticks. Even her clothes had "Quidditch ROX!!!" all over them…so you can guess that when Lily went to Hogwarts in the third year, when she was finally allowed to play, she was hell-bent on joining the team.

However-we all knew there would be one-, on the first day; this was one of the things Dumbledore announced:

For as long as Hogwarts and Quidditch have existed, the girls and boys teams were common. There was no gender discrimination.

"However, the Ministry has enforced a new law: Girls and boys must play on separate teams.

"The Ministry also conducted a survey throughout three magical schools and 99 of the girls do not wish to play Quidditch for the fear of breaking a nail."

Three quarters of the boys cracked up. Dumbledore ignored them and went on.

"Anyway, so the Ministry enforced another law: Girls cannot play Quidditch. I am very sorry."

Lily's jaw dropped and for the rest of the day she mumbled about sexism, anti-feminism, and how much the Ministry sucked.

Lily jealously watched as the Quidditch _boy_ try-outs were carried out. She didn't mean to boast, but she was far better than half the team.

The only consolation was her best friend Claire, but she was too busy going on about how much of a hotdog Sirius Black was.

Hmmm, what was she saying now?

"James and Remus and Sirri-wirri are 9.9999999999999999999 on the hottie scale, but I think Sirrie's butt's the sexiest."

_Sirri-wirri_? _Hottie_ scale? Sexy _butts_? Obviously, Claire had read too many teen magazines. Normally, she wouldn't hear the word 'butt' or 'sexy' or 'hottie' without blushing.

So Claire sat beside Lily at the tryouts, ogling at Sirius' hot butt. She was happy, cos she could get a full 360degree view of it.

"Claire?" asked Lily.

"Mmm?"

"I'm gonna dress up as a guy to try out for Quidditch."

"WHAT???"

"I said I'm-

"No! I heard what you said. I just can't believe-

"What a stupid idea that is. I know." Said Lily, with a defeated sigh.

"NO! What a great idea that is!"

"Really?"

"Uh-huh! I mean, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Right?"

"Yeah!" said Lily enthusiastically.

So off they went to give Lily a makeover…

**Lily's Room**

"Do I _have_ to wear sideburns?" whined Lily.

"Yep, cos all guys have 'em, and you wouldn't look hot without 'em."

"I don't wanna look hot! I just wanna look like a guy!"

"Trust me, I've been observing and recording the behaviour of an average male specimen for years."

"Oooookay."

Lily spun around on her chair and viewed herself in a mirror. She had dark red, cropped hair and similar sideburns. But she still looked a bit girly.

Oh. _Right. Those_. She entered the bathroom with a long cotton sash and came out looking more boyish.

But her hair colour just made her look gay. Claire pointed her wand at it and it turned a dark, chocolatey brown. So did her eyes and sideburns. Her eyebrows became lass arched and her face less angular and oval.

Yep. She would pass as a guy.

Now, for the talk…

She tried several different styles of talking and finally got one that was easy to use, not too girly nor gay.

Perfect.

The walk. She would have to slump a bit, like she was sleep-deprived, lean backwards, like someone was yanking her back by the hair, and swish her arms about.

She decided against the swishing thing- it made her look like a half-evolved ape. (isn't that what guys are? He he.)

Yep. She-or he- was ready.

Just as she was about to leave the school as a girl who was going to visit her muggle grandma in the hospital, and come back as a guy who was an exchange student from France, Claire cried "Ypur name!!!"

Shit. She would've forgotten.

"How about… John?"

"Nooooo."

"Jack?"

"Sparrow"

"Peter?"

"Are you from one of those stupid Secret Seven books? NO!"

"Jean?"

"Perfect."

"Jean… Black?" she asked cheekily, to get back at Claire for the Secret Seven thing.

"Nooooooo! Sirri's MINE!"

"Jean Smith?"

"Good. Sounds like John Smith," said Claire. Lily mock-puked. "but French." She continued.

"Good luck, Jean Smith." Grinned Claire.


	2. Jean Smith meets Dumbledore

**Chapter 2**

Jean entered Professor Dumbledore's office a day after Lily Evans left.

Jean knocked on the headmaster's door and entered, taking care to remember the slump and talk.

"Yo! What's up, Big D?"

"The ceiling." Answered Dumbledore.

She-he- grinned and introduced her-him-self with a theatric bow.

"What's your real name?"

She sighed. Sometimes Dumbledore was too damn smart for his own good.

"Lily Evans. I'm supposed to be visiting a sick grandma but I dressed up as a boy and came back so I could try out for Quidditch. Those damned bast!& from the Ministry and their damned laws..."

"That is the most…"

"I know, I know. Stupid idea you've ever heard."

"No! it's brilliant! The best idea since turning that hedgehog into a bag with an endless supply of lemon drops!" he pulled out a bag that had hedgehog coloured cloth and dug in, pulling out a couple of lemon drops.

"Oooookay."

"But there is room for improvement in your disguise…" he swished his wand absent-mindedly and he clothes, hair, sideburns, eyebrows, slump and voice changed!

"Just say noelemahc and your disguise will go. You'll need it." He grinned. "I'll do all your paperwork for you." He flicked his wand again and an identity card appeared. He handed it to Jean.

"Run along, now. Oh, and you'll be bunking with Potter, Black and Lupin. They'll teach you how to be a guy without even knowing that you need to learn to be a guy. If you see my meaning. Ta-ta!"

**I know this chappie's rather short, but, review anyways! Thank you so much!**


	3. The Jungle, a lot of Sluts and Remus

Chapter 3

**The Jungle(or Potter, Black and Lupin's room)**

"Hi! I'm Lil-Jean Smith and I'm from France. I like Quidditch and will never understand women and/or poetry."

"Join the club, _Lil-Jean_…" smirked Sirius.

She blushed.

"The name's Black…Sirius Black. Also known as 'Super Sexy Cheese n' Chili Hotdog' or 'the Dude'.

James and Remus rolled their eyes before introducing themselves.

Lily turned around to unzip her bag to take out some clothes to change, but just as she unzipped it, a box fell out.

A box which made her want the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

A box of sanitary napkins.

Her three roommates also blushed for some weird reason.

Sirius was the first one to ask, "Why do you have _those_?" he acted as if '_those_' were strawberry flavored chocolate cheese, which everyone knows is a crime against nature.

"Dude, that's screwed up." Said James.

"Um, they're really good for … um… nosebleeds?"

"You stick those up your _nose_?" they asked.

"Yeah!" she acted as if it was obvious. "Wait, you've never _done_ that?"

They shook their heads like five-year-olds who ad just figured out where babies come from.

"See," she pulled out a packet. "You've gotta open it, peel of the back part, and roll it up before," she hesitated (Wouldn't anyone?).

"sticking it up your nose." She finished, demonstrating.

"Okay. I'm not even gonna comment on that." Said James.

"So, I'm gonna go for the Quidditch try outs." Said Lily, casually trying to pull _it_ out of her nose.

Sirius snorted. "Sure. You do that."

"Why can't I?" demanded Lily. "What's wrong with me? Just because I'm a gi-" she cut herself off.

The Marauders looked at her curiously.

"Just because I don't have biceps or triceps or 8-packs and strong hamstrings and…" she trailed off in a long list of muscles that only human anatomy experts had heard of.

James, who was taken aback by the outburst said "Yeah, but you make up for it with your brain."

Lily blushed and mumbled something that sounded like 'thanks' and 'whatever' at the same time before walking out of the room muttering about being half starved to death and being in desperate need of food.

A couple of days passed. Lily got into the Quidditch team…barely. She did a little bribing with the school's most popular girls with the Marauders' signatures which she had obtained previously.

The Hogsmade trip came.

James, Sirius and Remus sat a window table, cozily chatting and drinking butterbeer. Until they saw Jean.

"Pretend not to see and maybe he won't notice." Said Sirius frantically. Remus rolled his eyes.

"REMUS! Take up more space!"

Remus moved over towards the window and spread his legs all over the seat as casually as possible.

The trio gazed out of the window.

"Hey guys. Mind if I join?" asked Jean.

Just then, Brittany Abel, the hottest, blondest, most popular girl in the school walked up to Jean.

"Hiiiiii, pooky-poo," she said to him.

"Um, hi." This was good. So this Brittany girl improvised and made it more realistic.

"Did I tell you how hot you are? I did? Well you're overdue. You are the most hot guy I have ever met."

Remus choked on is butterbeer. James' jaw dropped. Sirius died.

Brittany was moving squeamishly close to Jean for his comfort but he knew it was all part of the act.

'Just bear with this girl for ten seconds. Ten. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi…"

"Hey, Brittney, um, I'll talk to you later. The guys are waiting."

"Oh, sure poky-poo." She blew a last kiss at him and turned around, sticking her bum out at him. Jean got the idea and smacked it without-miraculously-throwing up. She strutted off, shaking her hips so much that you could see her pink knickers from under her micro-mini-transparent skirt.

Jean turned back to the guys.

James' jaw was still open.

"Close it before a fly gets in," advised Jean. "She's way to physical for my taste." He continued. "Now Miranda, she is wow."

Just then, as if on cue, Miranda Goldheart and and Aleeshia Connors walked up to Jean.

"Hellooo, ladies,"

But Miranda and Aleeshia paid him no attention. They were too busy glaring at each other.

"What are you doing here?"

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"Ugh! I'm here to spend time with my boyfriend, Jean."

"He is so not your boyfriend! You're too ugly to have a boyfriend."

"Right back at you! I'll get your boyfriend A.K.A the janitor to call you. What's your number? 1800-bi-atch?"

The two girls launched into a catfight…or slutfight-whatever.

"Ladies, please, there's enough of me to go around."

The girls hmphed, blew kisses at Jean and left.

"Women. So possessive."

Just then, Kelly Lanerds walked over.

Sirius whistled. "Shut up, Black. You, Jean! I thought you said I was your only girlfriend! But right now, I saw you practically making out with those other three girls!" said Kelly.

According to plan.

"Hey, Kelly, it's over. You don't give me enough space. You know?"

That, was the wrong thing to say to Kelly. She was almost crying. "We are so done, Jean Smith!" she screamed.

Sirius said cheekily "I'm still here, babe."

"SHUT UP, BLACK! Girls with asses like mine don't have to talk to boys with faces like yours."

James stifled a laugh.

"I don't even know why people think you're so hot. Am I am the only guy on this planet who sees you for what you truly are, which, by the way, is uuugly?" asked Jean.

James and Remus covered their mouths.

Kelly was too stunned to speak, so she just stormed off.

"That's right. Go away and hope never to see me again!"

Jean turned back to the three stunned looking boys. The whole place was silent, waiting for the Marauders' response.

"You're my idol, man! You rock!" cried Sirius.

The whole tavern burst into applause.

Remus quietly asked Lily if he could talk to her for a moment.

Once in a dark corner, he asked "What's up with you?"

"What do you mean?" asked a genuinely surprised Lily.

"No guy would have the guts to talk to Kelly Lanerds like that. You're hiding something. And those other three girls, you looked ready to puke when they came near you."

"All right, all right." No point lying to Remus Lupin. He was almost as observant as Dumbledore.

"Meet me beside the lake tonight alone. I'm serious, Remus. You can't bring anyone along. I'm trusting you with my life. Almost. Whatever. If you bring anyone my life will be over."

Remus nodded and they went back to the table.


	4. Remus' secret and Lily's crush

**Chapter 4**

--------------------------later that night-------------------------------------

"Jean?" asked Remus, looking at the figure beside the lake. Jean looked at him.

"I'm going to be very frank. I'm a girl who dressed up as a guy to play Quidditch cos those assholes from the Ministry banned girls from playing. Bloody sexist bas!. Only Dumbledore knows and he agrees. So here we are."

"What?"

"I said-"

"No, no, I heard what you said."

"Oh. And my real name's Lily Evans." She pointed at herself with her wand, murmured 'noelemahc' and made a small light at the tip of her wand so Remus could see her properly.

"Holy s!#. That's the most brilliant idea I've ever heard. I feel your pain, brother…sister. My sister, Viola, also loves Quidditch and she was really upset when she heard that girls can't play. You two should get together sometime."

"Really? I've never met her."

"My parents chose to send her to Baubaxtons where Quidditch is considered barbaric."

"Oh. And if you tell anyone about this, I swear, Remus, I will tell the whole school about your…furry little problem…"

His jaw dropped. "B-b-but…"

"I'm not stupid, you know. I mean, disappearing to visit your Aunt Jane, who happens to be your mother's nephew's grandmother, who would also be your grandmother, who died thrice and ever so conveniently on a full moon night?"

"S!t. I knew I should've used Aunt Annie. UGH. Wait, you don't hate me."

"No, it's not your fault that you're a werewolf, but I find it quite interesting and should like to know more."

"Oookay."

"Oh, and I know about your animagi friends. James the stag and Sirius, the ever so lively dog."

"You _are_ smart."

"So what did you think I was, mentally impaired?"

"No, but the nosebleed thing, was really stupid."

She blushed. "Well, what was I to say?"

"Don't ask me. We'd better get going. Oh and Jea-Lily, thanks for trusting me. Goodnight." He said, before briskly walking off to the Jungle(Their dorm, not the forbidden forest. Just checking.).

Lily changed back and followed.

---------------------------the next day---------------------------------------

The next day, Lily woke up to see Sirius walking around in boxers. Calvin Klein, by the looks of it. WTF! Why was she even looking? She blushed and turned away, magically sending the image that had stuck in her head to Claire, who would probably pass out upon seeing it.

"What? Did I forget my boxers again?" he asked innocently.

_Again?_

James rolled his eyes.

"You're not wearing pants, bird-brain." 

"So? I mean, we're all guys, right? So what's up with Jean?"

"Just because Jean's decent doesn't make him not a guy."

James tried to get out of bed and –very cutely-landed on his behind. 'Ow. Stupid floor. Who put it there, anyway?"

Lily laughed. "If nobody had _put_ it there, you'd have fallen way down."

He grinned and said 'Point taken'.

She went into meltdown. What was wrong with her today? Why was she feeling like this for James? He was a playboy and she wouldn't last with him for a minute. Besides, she liked him as a brother. Nothing more than that. He didn't even know a Lily Evans. He was her bro- OMG, when he ruffles his hair, he looks so hot! NO! NO! James was her brother! Brot-he is hot, though.

Aaaargh! Shut up, Lily. What is wrong with you? Must be those damned hormones kicking in. Damn them.

"Look alive there, mate." James was moving his hand up and down in front of her face. His face was so close to hers. She wanted to kill herself. Her brain was malfunctioning. Maybe a long shower would make it work right.

"I'm going for a bath." She mumbled and walked off, but not before noticing James liked adorable in his blue, snitch-covered pajamas.

SHUT UP, LILY EVANS!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She forced herself out of the shower in a few minutes, because having nothing to do made her think. Think about lots of stuff. Lots of stuff mainly being a certain James Potter.

So much for the _long shower_. She was grumpy.

When she emerged from the bathroom, she saw James padding around in oober-cute, fuzzy snitch shaped slippers! She almost fainted.

This was going to be a long day…

--------------------quidditch practice field---------------------------------

"Okay, midgets! Today we're gonna have a _real_ practice and I need you to act like a _real_ team and not the bunch of lily-livered sissies I see in front of me. Anyone got a problem with that? No? Good." said the coach.

He released the balls. And before she could get on her broom, a bluder flew straight at Lily, hitting her where it was supposed to hurt. The whole team winced and circled around her.

Lily, of course, was unaffected, and stood there blankly staring at everyone, before realizing what was going on. She clutched her would-be groin in agony.

"OW! Oh, for the love of God! Son of a bi!#!!!!" she screamed.

She 'got over it' quickly though.

The team got over it, too. So the game carried on. Lily and the team soon learnt that lily was much better at Quidditch than she was before. Of course she was good from the start, but the 150 push ups, sit ups, chin ups and a lot of other ups caused her to have cramps almost every day, so she couldn't always be her best.


	5. James' new friend

**Chapter 5**

One morning, James woke up early at 4 am, because of a bad dream (He lost the Quidditch tournament to Slytherin) and looked out the window. It was a hazy day, but he could make out the outline of a figure running round and round the Quidditch field tirelessly.

He wondered who on Earth would risk getting sick and go running on such a cold day.

He went down to investigate, and to his surprise, found a girl, not a boy running so effortlessly around the field.

She stopped when she saw him. To her delight (she was disgusted with herself but she couldn't hide it), James was in his snitch embroidered pajamas.

But she masked her face pretty well. "James Potter? What on Earth are you doin' out here so early? Shouldn't you be gettin' your beauty sleep?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

She blushed despite herself. "I don't need no beauty sleep. I could hibernate and it wouldn't make a difference."

He laughed, genuinely amused. He was also surprised because she hadn't yet swooned at the sight of him. But his ego would never take a blow.

"So, you haven't died yet…"

"Why would I want to die? I like my life."

"I'm James Potter! THE James Potter. In pajamas. No girl would not swoon at my immense hotness."

"Your hotness ain't the only thing that's immense. You have an ego the size of a heffelump."

"A what?"

"Sorry. Forgot you were a cave-dwelling pure-blood."

He chose to ignore that. The Irish girl was quite pleased with herself. She had barely prevented herself from swooning.

"So, what's a pretty lady like you doing out here, running at this time in the morning, in this weather?"

"I ain't pretty and I don't see a lady anywhere unless you consider yourself a lady."

"You have very low self esteem."

"Wherd'ya get that from? One of your little 'boost your confidence and make the most of yourself' magazine?"

He grinned. She had a dictionary full of comments and remarks up her sleeve, and he (for some strange reason)didn't mind that she was using them on him.

"Actually, no. I just so happen to be acquainted with a certain Sirius Black. Heard of him? And you didn't answer my question."

"Oh, I'm sorry, ickle wickle Jamsie-poo, I'm doin' something we human beings call runnin'. It's a form of exercise. Understand?"

The fog cleared a bit and he saw that he was speaking to a beautiful redhead girl with brilliant green eyes that were mocking him.

He rolled his eyes. "No, I know you're running, but why?"

"Qui-to protect myself from heart attack. Lily, by the way. Lily Evans."

"I haven't seen you around here."

"Oh, um, ah, uh… I.. you're not observant enough, then. I've always been here. Haven't gone nowhere. You're probably too busy with your bimbotic fan girls to notice me: the unpopular freak redhead"

"But..but… you… why're you unpopular? I mean, you're so beautiful."

She blushed. "Thanks." She hardened her tone."But I ain't popular cos I ain't a bimbo, I'm a virgin and I don't own a thong."

It was his turn to blush. He quickly changed the subject. "So, are you going to the IBSIJOA Carnival tomorrow?"

"IBSIJOA? That's a mighty long abbreviation."

"Yeah. I'm Bored So I Just Organized A Carnival. Dumbledore."

"Shit. Holy shit. Why'd he have to hold a sodding carnival? Why?"

"What's wrong?"

"My parents're comin' tomorrow!" she said, before realizing it was James she was telling this to.

"And that's bad because….what?"

"Oh nevermind. I gotta wake Claire. Oh and James, sorry I was so rude to you just now. I'm just in a bad mood. Bye!"

Before James could respond, Lily had ran off. He liked this girl. She was so unique. She was the first girl who hadn't swooned at the sight of him. She was the first one who had been rude to him. Maybe he would ask her out sometime. It was the first time he actually worried whether he would say yes or no.


	6. The Carnival

Chapter 6

On the day of the carnival….

James, and Remus, saw Jean dressed in a long-sleeved, black, turtleneck and long black pants. The bottom of her thick top and the top of her long pants bulged out as though she were a girl pretending to be a boy who was going to a carnival which his/her parents expected him/her to attend as well as his/her friends except, as a boy, so had therefore worn thick black clothing to cover up the beautiful red dress(which her parents had forced her to wear) whose(inordinately expensive and pretty)Gucci bottom she had scrunched up at the top of her pants, making her look like a pregnant guy.

"Why on Earth are you dressed like that on such a hot day?"

She laughed, nervously trying to flatten the lump on her stomach. "Allergies?"

"You're allergic to the sun?"

"Um, no. Vitamin D. Duh."

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're very odd?"

"Yeah. Trust me, you have no idea."

Remus had slunk off to make sure Sirius wasn't drinking himself silly, leaving James and Jean alone. So they instinctively began walking along together, looking at the attractions.

"Shit. Shit." Jean swore.

"What?"

"Um, sorry, James, but I gotta go. Be back in a few seconds." He gave James an apologetic smile and ran off to the bathrooms which Dumbledore conveniently made common for both girls and boys.

He went in, ripped off his shirt and pants to reveal a beautiful ankle length dress that looked casual, but very, very elegant.

She murmured the spell which would remove her disguise, stuffed her guy clothes in her rucksack and dashed out to meet her mother.

"Hi, mom!" she cried. "How are you? It's been so long! I've missed you so! I wanted to write to you but I just couldn't find the time! I mean, I practically have had zero time to go to the saloon and get my hair and nails done. It was disgusting." She an accomplished liar and it was almost impossible to tell that she had not missed her full-of-comments, pink, bimbotic mother.

She was aware that a certain James Potter was watching her skeptically. He came over and introduced himself.

"Hi! I'm James Potter. I met your daughter recently and she seems to be quite a unique and interesting lady. You must be her mother, Mrs. Evans. I must say you've done an excellent job of bringing her up to be the lady she is today."

She turned red as a beetroot. She could see he was charming her other to no ends. Mrs. Evans had turned a light, ladylike shade of pink, not embarrassingly red like Lily, but enough to show she was flattered.

"So pleased to meet you, James. It is delightful to hear that Lily has finally gotten herself a boyfriend. I was wondering how much longer she would be able to stand being single slut."

"It is delightful to hear you are concerned about my marital status, but James and I are mere friends, and I am managing perfectly well as a 'single slut', as you so charmingly put it. But not every girl needs a boyfriend by the age of thirteen, you know. I, for one, intend to remain single as I believe having a life or potential life partner can do terrible things to a woman's future. It also reduces her career options drastically." She said, not bothering to hide her anger, but being icily cold at the same time.

"LILY! I am shocked at your behaviour! A woman's only 'career' is her children and housework! You will not talk about being a barbaric, single, working woman!"

"I would 'love' to stand here and chat with you, mother, as clearly, nothing gives me more pleasure, however, I have… matters to attend to. Give Petunia my regards. Good Day." She looked at James and nodded primly. "James."

She walked away briskly, her chin up. James was unable to believe that there was so much hatred between mother and daughter. He said goodbye to her mother and ran after her.

"Lily! Wait up!"

Despite not wanting to, Lily stopped in her tracks and waited for James to catch up. When he did, she continued walking, avoiding his eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"Am I ever anything but?" she was internally touched that he actually cared about her. She would have expected him to laugh at her and tease her.

"No, it's just… why is your mom such –forgive me for saying this, but-a slut?"

"My mother is a famous model in the Muggle world. All models are like that. It is my misfortune that I am her daughter. You wouldn't understand this, James. You probably have parents who pamper you and buy you whatever you want, but even though my mother is a multi-millionaire, any books or other things I want, I have to work for. You wouldn't understand why my mother would have told my father she loved him and would never do anything to hurt him, then after a few years, get mad when he wanted to divorce her, brutally murder him, and still win the case in court. You wouldn't understand why I've been raised by nannies my whole life till I was old enough to be dumped here. Now if you would kindly sod off for a while- I really do have something to do. And, James, thank you."

"What-what for?" he asked, still stunned.

She gave him a small, sad smile. "For listening." she said, before dashing off.

He felt so sorry for her. She was just lonely. Over the years she had learnt not to truly love and care for anybody so she wouldn't get hurt.

Just then, Jean returned and barely managed to say in his quirky voice "Hi! Sorry 'bout that. Technical difficulties."

James told him all about his encounter with Lily Evans and her mom. "It's just, she needs a friend. She's lonely."

Jean seemed interested in knowing what James thought of Lily…


	7. A New Friend

**Chapter 7**

James woke up early again the next day. He had had a bad dream about what it would be like if he had lived Lily's life.

He, like the rest of the world, knew that the cure to a bad dream was ice cream and caffeine. So he went down to the kitchen.

He entered the dining hall with a gigantic tub of ice cream and a flask of coffee only to see Lily already sitting on one of the benches, mournfully shoveling ice cream into he mouth in between gulps of scalding hot coffee.

She stopped upon seeing him, but relaxed when she saw him holding ice cream and coffee. For some reason, it eased her mind to know that she wasn't the only demented person who ate those two things together.

He came over and sat beside her.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey,"

"Listen, I'm sorry about yester-"

"NO! You have done nothing wrong. I see no reason for you to apologize, although it is sweet of you to do so anyway. Shit. I did not just say that aloud, did I?"

James chuckled. She blushed. Seeing him smile always made her blush.

Stupid blood rushing to your stupid head at the most stupid moments, she thought.

To change the subject, he said "Bet you couldn't beat me at an ice cream and coffee eating contest!"

"Bet I could!"

"Fine! I challenge you to an ice cream and coffee eating contest!"

She laughed. This was the most immature challenge she had ever taken on. Yet, it sounded fun. So, quoting Hilary Duff, she thought "Why not, take a crazy chance?"

"I accept your challenge! On three. Three."

"Two,"

"ONE!!!" they both cried and dug their spoons in the tubs of ice cream. In just exactly one minute, they both laid down their spoons in uncomfortable bloated-ness. They both doubted they would be able to do anything but roll back to their beds and sleep, but, they survived.

"Damn. It's a tie."

"Lily, can we be friends?"

"F-f-friend? You want me to be your friend?"

"Of course. Unless you don't want me to be."

"No, no it's not like that. It just means a lot to me to hear you say that. Thanks, James."

they both smiled at each other and went back up in companiable silence. Lily headed for the Girl's dorm and James for the boys.

Lily went to Claire and shook her awake.

"Okay, okay, I admit it! I…have a crush…on James Potter!"

Claire just stood like that for a moment, squealed and said "Lily! I am so happy for you!"

"Thanks, Claire!"

Now that Lily accepted it, she felt happier, less depressed and just…good!

**Because of all the positive reviews I have gotten, I have updated it super fast! Thanks guys! And review quickly!**

**The Queen Of Mischief**


	8. The Big Game

**Chapter 8**

The day of the big game came. Lily was terrified. She was not just trying to prove that _she_ could play Quidditch, but that _anyone _can. She was representing the entire female population! And they didn't even know what she was risking for them. But it didn't matter. She would do it anyway. But she would not screw up. She forbade herself from it.

The rest of the team was not nearly as scared. It was probably because the entire school was in that stadium, cheering them on. If they knew one of their team members was a girl, she doubted they would continue to sit in the field.

James walked over to her. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

She laughed nervously.

"I'm scared. That's all."

"Well, don't be. You're good and you know it."

"That's not why I'm scared."

She wasn't lying. She was scared that people wouldn't accept her- even if they won the game- when they found out who she really was. She'd made up her mind to reveal herself directly after the game.

If they won.

She would only remove her disguise if they won.

If they lost and she showed herself, they might blame her for the loss.

If they lost, Jean Smith would disappear.

"Good luck, Jean." Said James, before walking off to Sirius who was singing his 'confidence boosting song' which went something like:

_I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt  
So sexy it hurts  
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan  
New York and Japan_

_I'm so sexy, so sexy_

And I'm too sexy for my hat  
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that

I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my

I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat  
Poor pussy poor pussy cat  
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me

And I'm too sexy for this song 

Lily rolled her eyes when she heard that.

Remus came over to her and said "Nervous?"

"Unbelievably."

"Good luck, Jean." Said Remus.

"You too."

The coach told them it was time for them to go out.

Lily clutched her broom and walked out as coolly as possible.

The game began. It wasn't nearly as hard as she had expected. She avoided falling off her broom, even when one of the Slytherin players tried to push her off.

The Slytherin captain and James were both advancing towards the snitch fast while their teams tried to earn as many points as possible.

James grabbed the snitch. The Slytherin captain rammed into James, causing him to fall off his broom.

His grip on the snitch remained firm, however.

The coach blew on his whistle.

The game ended.

Gryffindor had won.

James was sent to the Hospital Wing, having passed out. Everyone, especially Lily, visited him often.

One day, Lily had come to visit James in the hospital wing. She sat there, having decided to tell James who she was.

James' eyes flickered open.

"We won, didn't we?"

She laughed nervously…


	9. Post Game

**Chapter 9**

**I normally love leaving cliffies, but I'm too nice, so here's the next chappie.**

"James, I…I have to tell you something. It's really important."

"Fire away."

"I…I…I'm not…a…guy."

"_What_?"

"I'm a girl."

"Jean, are you feeling alright?"

"James, I'm fine! Did you hear me? I'm a girl!"

"Prove it!"

She muttered the spell and transformed. He stared at her.

"What'd you expect me to do? Pull up my shirt?"

"No, you're Lily."

"I'm sorry, James. I dressed up as a boy to play Quidditch. Only Dumbledore and Remus know."

"Remus?"

"He figured out by himself. You're not…mad, are you, James?"

"No, not really. I know you love Quidditch. I know how you feel and I would have done the same thing if I were you. I just wish you would have trusted me and told me. I can keep a secret." His pout made her feel faint.

She squeezed his hand. "If it had been up to me, I wouldn't have told anybody. I just wanted to prove that I could do it."

"Which you did."

She grinned and hugged him.

"Next time, please just stay a girl,"

They both laughed.

She stopped abruptly. "Wait, did you just imply that I can still play?"

"Of course. However, the Ministry can't find out so you'll have to keep your disguise handy."

"Understood, cap'n!"

**Not very long, but…REVIEW!!! I live for reviews! And if you think my story needs improvement, please feel free to comment. I would greatly appreciate that.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**The Queen Of Mischief**


	10. The End

**Epilogue**

A few years passed-three, to be exact. James and Lily were now in their sixth year and their friendship was stronger than ever.

So was their hidden love for each other.

Every time James looked at Lily, her heart fluttered.

Every time he smiled the smile he'd reserved just for her, her insides melted.

Every time he spoke to her in his soft, melty voice, she went into meltdown.

James wasn't in a much different situation.

Every time she looked at him with her brilliant green, inquisitive, beautiful, hypnotic eyes, he felt dazed.

Every time she spoke to him, his spirits soared.

Every time he laughed(not at him), he felt that he could leap for joy.

But, apparently, both of them could hide their emotions perfectly, so neither of them could detect the other's feelings for them.(me:huh?)

So, soon enough, Christmas came. Neither James nor Lily were in the mood to sing Christmas carols or have fun, they were both miserable.

"So, you going home for Christmas?" asked Lily on the day before Christmas.

"No, I'm staying. My parents are having some guests and they'll need to use my room and the guest room."

"I'm staying, too. Not that I have much of a home to go to. The only one who is remotely human in my family is my dad and he's off in the States for work."

"Oh,"

"I don't really give a damn." She added.

"Ah,"

They both looked at each other and grinned.

Coincidentally, they would be the only ones left in the school…(I love these plot conveniences…mwahahahah…hehe.)

James and Lily went with the Marauders to the train station to see them off.

"Ooooh," said Sirius cheekily. "A hormonal girl and boy, left alone for the whole of Christmas? I can see where this is going…"

They rolled their eyes but inside, their hearts skipped a beat.

"Shut up, Sirius," they said at the same time. Then they looked at each other and blushed.

Once the train left and after waving like mad, the two youths returned to the castle, wondering if the other would ever return their feelings.

It is very fun to have a _castle_ all to yourself, so Lily and James undoubtedly enjoyed themselves.

One day, Lily woke up feeling as though she was forgetting something…hmmm. What could it be?

She checked the calendar. She swore loudly. It was James' birthday. She had completely forgotten. Oh no. what was she going to give him? WHAT?! She was about to jump out the window when,

"Mornin', Lil," came a voice from behind her that could only be James Potters'.

She loved it when he called her 'Lil'. It was so…so…argh. She couldn't even describe it! She was acting…thinking, like a lovesick fool.

"Morning, James."

"You look…pained."

"You have no idea."

"Why? Is it because…I'm officially older than you?"

"No, Grandfather."

He pouted. "So aren't you gonna wish me a Happy Birthday?"

She rolled her eyes and squeezed him tight, taking in his unique, James-ey smell. "Happy Birthday, James," she said into his shirt.

He smiled sincerely. "Thanks, Lil. Oh, and, sorry I don't have a return gift," he said cheekily.

She looked at him and tapped her cheek with her index finger, motioning for James to kiss it, before realizing what she had just done. He obliged. She turned red.

They spent the rest of the day with smiles on their faces. This was partially because they had had only chocolate ice cream for the whole day and were high on sugar.

(**A/N the italics are Lily's thoughts.)**

On that very night, Lily noticed James was looking at her very weirdly.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" she asked, running her hand over it.

He shook his head and said, "Lily," _He called me Lily, not Lil! Does this mean something? Or is he just really serious?_

"I'm gonna do something" he continued.

_What's he gonna say? WHAT?_

"That will probably make you hate me forever,"

_I could _never_ hate James. Unless he told me he had a girlfriend. Nah, that would make me hate the girl, not him. Oh, he's gonna say something, I think. Shut up and stop thinking, Lily!_

He leaned towards her, and cupped her face in his palms.

_Oh my god. Is he gonna…_

But she never completed that thought because James Potter was kissing her.

She could feel her arms snake around his neck. He tasted like chocolate. She probably did, too.

_Oh! He's breaking off! Don't break off, James! You just did what I've been wanting to do for ages!_

His voice was somewhat ragged. "I'm sorry, Lily."

She surprised him by pulling down his head and kissing him back.

They broke off due to lack of oxygen.

"I…I've been wanting to do that for a long, long time." He said.

She blushed and said, "Me too."

She hesitantly tiptoed and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Goodnight, James,"

"Goodnight, Lil,"

_Oh, my God. I was just kissed by James Potter. Me. Lily Evans. Kissed. By James. James Potter. ME. _

_**Oh, but Lily, he's a player. A playboy. For all you know, you're his toy.**_

_No, but… he said he's been wanting to kiss me for a long time. Surely that means something._

_**That's probably what all his ex's thought.**_

_NO! you're wrong. James is sweet and caring and loving and funny and smart and…and…he's a great guy._

_**All part of the act, love. I don't want to break your heart, or anything, but I don't want **_**him**_** to do it, either. Just…practice caution.**_

This thought left Lily in a dilemma. The guy of her dreams had expressed his feelings for her. Should she be happy or on high alert?

The next morning when James woke up, he found Lily getting up, too.

He went over to her and kissed her on the cheek. Lily stiffened.

"What's wrong, Lil?" he asked, confused.

She shook her head.

For the next couple of days, Lily found herself avoiding James. If he was in the common room, she would be in the library. If he was in the dining hall, eating, she would be in the bathroom, showering, waiting for him to finish. He went to bed at ten, so she would go at eight.

One day, James was too confused to bear it anymore. He barged into her room at 8.15 to find her reading a book. She looked up, startled.

"Lily," he had called her Lily. "We need to talk."

This…was bad. To James' astonishment, tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, James!" she wept.

James sat down next to her and said softly "Don't cry, Lily. Please don't."

She shook her head. "I deserve to die! I've been horrible to you! I deserve to die!" she buried her face in her knees and wrapped her arms around her folded legs.

"Why were you avoiding me, Lil? I thought you hated me."

She couldn't help but snort. "I could never hate you, James. Only myself. I only avoided you because you're a playboy, James. It was too good to be true when you kissed me. I thought you were going to dump me, because that's what playboys do. They pretend that they care for someone, then break their hearts. I don't want to believe it, but I know its true. I avoided you because I was scared."

James was very taken aback. "You're right, Lily. That is what playboys do. I would know because I _was_ one. I thought breaking girls' hearts was fun. Until I met you. I haven't dated a girl since that foggy, hazy day on which I first met the beautiful, smart, witty, funny, sarcastic, loving, caring, considerate, _special _girl, called Lily Evans."

She looked up and asked "Really?"

When he nodded, she jumped on him and hugged him so hard that he couldn't breathe. "I missed you, James."

"Me, too, Lil,"

"I…I love you, James."

"I love you too, Lily."

She couldn't say anything more because James' lips were pressing against her own.

_**The End**_


	11. Not Exactly a Chapterbut whatever

Hiya guys! I just wanted to tell you that I have ended this story and no matter how much you tell me to update, I will not. Update, I mean. Not because I don't want to, no, I really want to, but I'm dry. Writing this story was not as easy as it looks.

Thanks for your support and REVIEW!!!

The Queen Of Mischief.


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